Keeping busy.

The kids are not back in school until next week, but I'm up at the crack of dawn getting some hours in, either, writing, researching or reading. I have always loved this time of day when no-one else is around. The peace and tranquility allows me total focus. It's bliss, especially with a strong cup of tea.

After feeling a moment of euphoria and a day's worth of gut wrenching nerves when I submitted. I now feel slightly off kilter. Reading posts on Linked In and connecting with other writers who state quite openly that "rejection is part of the course" and "most publishers will not even get back to you or explain why they don't like your book." It's hard not to feel off. Why am I putting myself through this? Why am I bothering? There are so many talented writers out there and I'm not sure I'm even any good.

The self-doubt demon is hovering.

For years I hadn't given much thought as to whether publishers would like my story or as to how I would cope with rejection. Now, I'm already setting myself up with the belief, that I will be rejected. I've already started devouring chocolate as if in some way that will buffer me against the desolation...

However, I tell myself, books are like art, and  people view of art differently. I'm not a fan of modern art, although some I enjoy. I rather tend to lean towards Renoir. I believe, therefore it's the same when finding a publisher. It's a question of finding the right publisher, the right agent that will love and appreciate your work. I've read that many writers become so disillusioned with publishers that they go the indie route. I guess only time will tell. It's taken me fours to finish this novel and I'm wondering how long the publication will take.

But, I have no time to sit and wallow in self-pity. I have work to do.

I'm writing the second book, entering competitions and reading. Always, reading.

I love all things romance, and if I'm not writing about it, then I love to read it. When I read romance stories, I love the chemistry that brings the will they won't they couple together. I love character driven stories where you feel as if you can relate to the hero and heroine. Conflict. There must be conflict, a battle of wills, a reason why they cannot be together and yet they want to be together more than life itself. Happy ever after. Everyone, wants to know that in the end no matter what the odds, the hero and heroine end up together.

I just went to see Immortal Instruments, City of Bones and I really enjoyed it. I love Cassandra Clare and although I read her books a while ago, I am heading right back to read them again. I loved her vivid descriptions. Action packed scenes, laced with romantic tension.  We all know that Clary and Jace end up together, but it's the chemistry, the tension, that keeps us watching, and reading to see how it happens.

"The night had gotten even hotter, and running home felt like swimming as fast as she could through boiling soup."  

Submitting.

Four years September, I started to write Children of Annwn. Now, I'm on the last legs of this particular journey. I'm about to submit my manuscript, to see if it has what it takes to be published traditionally. I am way beyond nervous. I'm terrified. I'm preparing myself for rejection, because it's a fact of life. I keep telling myself, no matter what,  to keep going. If I don't have belief in myself, no one will, and I do.

I believe in my story, and I hope other's will to. I'm a romantic, I always have been, and I refuse to give up.

Children of Annwn is a love story about overcoming the odds and not giving up. It's about fulfilling a promise, even when you doubt yourself and those around you. It's about growing up and taking responsibility for the choices you make. It's about believing that anything is possible.

In this small excerpt which is near the end, Mia is about to step onto the stage and perform for her last time in the human world. It's a pivotal moment. Everything is about to change.

   Above her churning stomach and the hammering of her heart, Mia could hear the screaming audience. Out front, Fusion was being introduced. The Kittens, ran off stage, huffing and puffing. As they passed by, they had big smiles plastered across their faces. Walking passed Mia, Simone blew Robert a kiss. Mia smirked at the girl and watched as she stumbled over something that wasn't there. Robert saw and knew Mia was messing around. He tugged her hand to pull her away. Then they were all walking up the short flight of stairs and onto the deserted stage. The curtains were drawn in front of them, but they could hear the crowd and Mia could feel the heat from the lights above. She swallowed and took her place by the microphone watching as everyone took theirs. Everyone was quiet. Mia turned her head back and forth, still no sign of Greyson. Evan sat waiting. His forehead was shiny from a layer of sweat. Danni stood next to Mia and winked at her. Mia smiled back. She moved her head to her left, Robert stood there. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

    Ready.

    Mia sucked in a deep breath and blinked. Everyone was tense but ready.                             

     This is it

     She couldn't answer him, just yet. Greyson was out front introducing the band. Mia could hear him explaining to the audience about Ayesha. Her heart was pounding frantically. There were shouts and yells. Then silence. The curtains drew back and a sea of waving arms, stood before them. Unknown faces covered in semi-darkness. Bright lights poured down on the group on stage and Mia blinked. Robert stooped forward into the microphone and introduced the first song, The Promise. He shot a gaze over at Mia. She willed her heart to slow and lifted her gaze to meet his.

   I’m ready.