Perfecting the query?

Perfecting the query is so damn hard!! I've written this brilliant story, well I believe so, and now I have to come up with a snappy query which seems impossibly hard! I have joined a forum called Agent Query. com
a great place to meet fellow writers and critique each others queries. Some comments and advice have been really helpful. Check out the link below.

agentqueryconnect.com/index.php?/forum/2-aq-connect-query-critiques/


                                               My  query for Children of Annwn:The Promise

Falling in love in the magical realm of Annwn comes with a price, and Mia Leronde is willing to pay by becoming human.  

Mia is a Guardian of Annwn, a protector of mankind, and a gifted seer. When her visions show dwindling pregnancies causing the end of the human race, she convinces Ryder, her love, that they must intervene or risk the same fate happening in Annwn. Mia uses an ancient law, The Promise, which tests the power of their love and magic to gain entry into the human world.

However, when the spell is cast to transform them into human teenagers they end up as babies, with their magic and memories locked away until the awakening.  Many human years pass, and now Mia is a seventeen-year-old frightened of the world and the visions she keeps secret. At night, she escapes into her dreams, which explode into reality in the shape of an obnoxious but drop-dead-gorgeous boy at school. His touch brings on the awakening causing memories to surge into her mind, unlocking her past and revealing her destiny.

Mia must put her fear aside, embrace her magic and love for Ryder, in order to fulfill her promise and save humanity.

CHILDREN OF ANNWN: THE PROMISE is a YA romantic fantasy. It’s a standalone novel with a series potential, and complete at 114,000 words.

Jennifer Davies is married with four very active boys and three sleepy cats. She can be found at  https://www.facebook.com/pages/Jennifer-Davies/1421409368089313
When she is not working hard at crafting her writing, she loves to work out her frustration at the gym.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

If you are able to give any constructive advice I would love to hear from you.