Reality bites

Okay, so week by week I am writing this journal to record my progress, the highs and low of attempting to create and complete  a fictional book. Well I have to report that  Friday was a hard day, when faced with comments that make you wince it is easy to want to give up. I need feedback wanting to know whether the story is appealing, makes sense, is interesting, captivating. However, when someone gives you the low down and it is bad news, when their comments are not what you had hoped or wished for. Your heart just simply sinks like the Titanic.

I felt completely drained. Wanting to throw the towel in, worried that after writing over 50.000 words it is complete and utter rubbish. Pondering whether I am just completely wasting my time. When writing you have to have such tremendous personal strength, and commitment to keep going. As forlorn as I felt my husband is a great support to me, when I least expect it. Even though he laughs at me, and makes jokes I guess as most husbands would, when he is genuine I realise why I chose him as my life partner. He puts up with my moods, impatience and  offers encouragement. Which you need,.because as strong as you think you are, when the feedback is not good, you feel bloody awful. 

It doesn't take long for me to admit that the comments are true, I need to add more detail,  improve the grammar, rewrite and rewrite. After a lot of reflection which I do, I rise above the hurt, forget  the huge dent in my pride, and take on board what is said . I have to get better work harder and undertake more research. I swallow the comments  aware I am not JK Rowling or Stephen King, or any other prestigious well known author. I am an amateur ! A beginner, I have so much to learn but they must have started somewhere. Maybe, it will take me years to get published  I never really started out with that as my ultimate goal. I just wanted to be able to write a book, to finish what I had started. I hope it doesn't take me years to finish it.

Good or bad please continue to send me comments, and let me know your thoughts I am grateful I have people I trust to read through my work, as it is hard to lay it out there for someone to pick holes in.Particularly as it is all completely new to me. This is a journey of self discovery, I get to use my imagination, which I love, it makes me laugh and cry. I feel excited when I have a good day of writing, I feel scared as hell that I am not good enough, but feel blessed that I am able to do what I love, and for all that I have, as reality is harsh and it bites..