The Christmas Spirit

I love this time of year, I love the lead up to Christmas. Not the frenzy of shopping, the baking, the decorating in the house, the tree, the parties, cooking the dinner on Christmas day. The general good will to all men. The old movies, Scrooge, and a Wonderful life . Welcoming the need to slow down unwind, and generally enjoy what we have been blessed with. Spending time with our loved one's, and reflecting on the past year,and  all that has been achieved. This year has been an exceptional challenge living away from family, I miss them so much, however we make it work, and make it special. The Christmas services here, are without doubt, unique, and instill in me the belief in Jesus Christ . So much goes on around us, but I believe he is my biggest, and brightest light throughout all adversity, and I cling to him . I welcome the new friends who hold him close, and thank them for their friendship, and prayers. Christmas, for me is about the possibilities, renewing our belief in something powerful, wonderful, and more important that anyone of us. It is the reason we exist, and I believe each and every one of us has a purpose, a dream we must follow, as it is God's wish. I believe he helps us every day, if we are open to his help, and guidance .

This is a quick blog in between the kids wanting to be fed, taking turns on the Wii Fit , which is hysterical or shovelling the snow. Needless to say not much is getting done in the way of real writing . I did connect with someone who is willing to help me in my research into music and recording and will give me some insight into forming a band and what goes on with rehearsals,creating music etc . So very excited about that . Also, need to follow up on another contact , a music teacher !!!! I have also decided that at the end of the school year I will look at attending some courses either on line or in community college in the fall of 2011. My youngest will be in first grade, and the money we have previously spent on full day kindergarten can be used to kick start my career and to help in my pursuit of becoming a novelist. Not much else to write, so I thought I would include a sneak peak, a part of my prologue, just to see what you thought !!! 

Prologue

"As I stand next to him watching, and waiting, looking at this great expanse that is the sky, with a sense of utter dread. I know this has been a vision, a recurring one for as long as I can remember. Only this time it is real! Night time, is somehow magical, mysterious, evoking a sensation of endless possibilities. Many things that happen at this time when the darkness takes over from the light are done so for that very reason, to remain hidden, clandestine or secret .We stand looking, as the glorious sun sets, the sky ablaze of deep bold colors, from strong violets, translucent fuchsia’s, bright oranges and dusky golden hues. It sets such a majestic painting that the old masters would be proud to name their own .This painting seems particularly special as we stand alone, it is just for us! Perhaps, to serve as a reminder of what we leave behind. Maybe, to give us courage to believe in what we are about to do. For what good is all this wondrous beauty, if there is no one here to appreciate, and enjoy it. "

Let me know what you think?  Does it make you want to know more ??? I will get back to it, when there are no distractions. I am going home for a couple of weeks as I need to visit my family, and so envisage a somewhat haphazard pattern of writing  over the next several weeks, writing when I can. When the soul and spirit combine making it possible. Merry Christmas and Happy New year

While there is infection in disease and sorrow, there is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humour.

Read more at Suite101: Dickens Quotes From A Christmas Carol: Ebenezer Scrooge, Bah Humbug and the Victorian Xmas Story http://www.suite101.com/content/dickens-quotes-from-christmas-carol-a169177#ixzz19LIkVIqI

It is the greatest medicine I know, having a good old laugh cures many ailments. it is good medicine for the heart and soul. So have a laugh xxxx

Family Matters and pleasant distractions

The last week has left me feeling as if I have been on the fast forward button it is good to have distractions.   I have been carrying on with the normal activities that are planned for this time of year buying presents, hosting a children's Christmas party, baking cookies for the cookie swap, and attending an ornament swapping party. All crazy but fun it is so good to laugh. However, all the while knowing I am getting nothing done with my writing . I have not written anything new now for 2 whole weeks .

Life takes over in so  many ways I am not the bubbly extrovert that are some of my many wonderful friends but I do love to get out of the house and have needed to have a change of scene as some of what life throws at you can be unbearable and stressful.  There is nothing you can do except go through this time.Try to stay sane and deal with what is thrown at you. You get through  but not without a few rough days that was last weekend . Living abroad it is an amazing experience, but when there are concerns about your family it is difficult to navigate the minefield . There is a constant yo/yo of  feelings, guilt and responsibility. You want to be there, do all you can, logistics get in the way. You cannot hug someone over the phone.

Anyway, when real life takes over, the writing stops.  I cannot sit and write when there are so many things to think about, my focus, my drive to create has literally been sucked out of me .I feel like a deflated balloon .I have not thought about the story for the last week at all . I have resigned myself to the fact, that it is an incredibly busy time, and refuse to add not writing, to my list of stress, so I let it go . Next week, I do plan to spend a couple of days at my desk, as I would like to try to achieve another chapter before Christmas takes over . I feel calmer this week, having decided to go home and visit my family in January. knowing that this life vest is there, helps to regain some sense of control and inevitably makes me feel better.

I love this quote I hear it mentioned many times and I feel it is particularly relevant to me at this time and I wanted to share it with you ,

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Reinhold Niebuhr ( American Theologian )

The Promise

The above is the title of my fictional book and it encapsulates many meanings to me. I have chosen it for this weeks title as a reminder to myself of the promise I made ,many months ago, which was to complete the book I had started to write over a year ago.I have been trying to follow my personal legend ,broaden my horizons, push myself to the limit, and endeavour to achieve something creative and wonderful.It is a process of learning at times painful, and emotionally challenging. But no matter what life throws at you, I realise you have to keep going, ignoring what ever else is going on or being said and just finish the task in hand.

With the Thanksgiving holiday, and my son's sixth birthday time has been limited to write so I have spent some time gathering research. I had a lovely evening with a group of teenagers, where we discussed several issues concerning the High school experience. It was a very interesting session, and very helpful, thanks so much for your time and input. I would like to do a follow up probably by email. I may  also have another avenue to explore for research into the area of music and in particular, experience with creating and the setting up a band, which I need to follow up on. This would be so beneficial to have.

Several years ago I had  ideas about writing a non fiction book, it was going to be based around the teenagers experience in high school and the pressure that is placed upon them,. How they deal with this, and the desire of the child / parent to conform to what is expected in today's American society. I have observed children from a young age being so regimented by sports after school activities that they don't get the chance to experience a normal childhood not the kind that I had. Times have greatly changed  and their are many arguments for a great debate on childhood and adolescence which I don't want to get into. I never started to write that book. maybe one day I will.

However the book I am currently writing deals with teenagers it is a love story that looks at the issues that are relevant to them and I hope offers another opinion it is fictional and so has the element of the incredible and unbelievable woven in but also touches on real issue's of sex, respect, and the choices they face at this age.My work maybe not as productive as I would hope over the next couple of weeks with Christmas,  but I will when I can continue to work as hard as possible to complete my book. I continue to have faith and the belief I can finish my .journey. Again I would like to say a big thanks to those who offer me support and encouragement .

Reality bites

Okay, so week by week I am writing this journal to record my progress, the highs and low of attempting to create and complete  a fictional book. Well I have to report that  Friday was a hard day, when faced with comments that make you wince it is easy to want to give up. I need feedback wanting to know whether the story is appealing, makes sense, is interesting, captivating. However, when someone gives you the low down and it is bad news, when their comments are not what you had hoped or wished for. Your heart just simply sinks like the Titanic.

I felt completely drained. Wanting to throw the towel in, worried that after writing over 50.000 words it is complete and utter rubbish. Pondering whether I am just completely wasting my time. When writing you have to have such tremendous personal strength, and commitment to keep going. As forlorn as I felt my husband is a great support to me, when I least expect it. Even though he laughs at me, and makes jokes I guess as most husbands would, when he is genuine I realise why I chose him as my life partner. He puts up with my moods, impatience and  offers encouragement. Which you need,.because as strong as you think you are, when the feedback is not good, you feel bloody awful. 

It doesn't take long for me to admit that the comments are true, I need to add more detail,  improve the grammar, rewrite and rewrite. After a lot of reflection which I do, I rise above the hurt, forget  the huge dent in my pride, and take on board what is said . I have to get better work harder and undertake more research. I swallow the comments  aware I am not JK Rowling or Stephen King, or any other prestigious well known author. I am an amateur ! A beginner, I have so much to learn but they must have started somewhere. Maybe, it will take me years to get published  I never really started out with that as my ultimate goal. I just wanted to be able to write a book, to finish what I had started. I hope it doesn't take me years to finish it.

Good or bad please continue to send me comments, and let me know your thoughts I am grateful I have people I trust to read through my work, as it is hard to lay it out there for someone to pick holes in.Particularly as it is all completely new to me. This is a journey of self discovery, I get to use my imagination, which I love, it makes me laugh and cry. I feel excited when I have a good day of writing, I feel scared as hell that I am not good enough, but feel blessed that I am able to do what I love, and for all that I have, as reality is harsh and it bites..      

Women are amazing

I love being a woman I am so biased because to be one is all I know, but I think that women are so strong, courageous, talented, and capable of anything that they so desire. We are fascinating as a species ever evolving, when you think of men from the beginning of time they were the provider, the cave man I really don't see an awful lot of change, whereas for women we are now capable of being anything and everything the mother ever nurturing, and providing for the family.We do not have to compromise our sexuality for the role of the modern day women I just admire and greatly appreciate being a woman.

This week as my exploits as a novice writer continues I find I am at the hardest point yet in writing my story I have reached a climax only to find I am not sure of how to continue. I find I am dodging writing the next chapter as to put pen or finger to the keyboard is difficult. My mind throbs after a days writing but it also pains me to know I have reached a stumbling block, and I not sure of how to proceed. I have  changed the name of my main male lead and I feel slightly better about the choice. However I really feel I need a proof reader someone who can read my work and see if it makes sense to the average American. My husband as ever my greatest support told me after I described my book so far, "Bloody hell I am never ever going to be able to give up work , do you really believe that @@%&@.".So I am on my own as far as belief in my abilities to produce a book at the end of this quest.

I know I could do more to improve my skills as a writer, go on courses to learn to write, enter short story writing competitions. But to choose to do this deviates from the sole task which is to complete a fictional book. A quest that I am convinced many think is impossible for me to achieve. Anybody that  know's me well, will know I never give up and  I always rise to the challenge. To give up is failure and I dont believe in that. My dad was a true inspiration he was a small man in stature but a man with a big heart, although like many men he did not know how to show it, he never gave up trying !

As much as I like to think I need no help this week I encountered the Computer jungle. I am so lost when it comes to technology if I press the wrong button I freeze afraid I am going to erase all my work or send it somewhere I can never retrieve it from ever again. I hate this age of technology it makes us so dependant on these electronic devices that do not always work as they should.The other day I worked on the computer for 45 mins trying to change the setting fearing that I had lost 2 days worth of work even though I had pressed the damn saved button countless times. My pages were enlarged and spread all over the place what was 162 pages of work showed as 50 pages I was dying ... no really dying that was the point when I wanted to chuck the god damn computer out the window until  my ever so wonderful husband walked in and within I would like to say hours, mins, but it was seconds fixed the problem.

Which brings me full circle as much as women have progressed , we still need men every now and then.
I am ever learning, ever grateful , onwards and upwards.

cheers Jen xx  

What Now ? A novice writers journal.: Only Human

What Now ? A novice writers journal.: Only Human

Only Human

Time is going ferociously fast at the moment with Thanksgiving just around the corner, the pressure is on for me to make progress whilst I can. This week has been really great I have to admit that for the last couple of weeks my feelings have been on the downward slope doubting my abilities to create something worthwhile.  Breaking away from the story and having the occasional coffee morning with a friend or two really helps. However, when I feel like this, I feel the need to write even more and have continued,carrying on immersing myself in this work, pushing all my fears to the back. I am so loving the story, I feel so eager to get it all down that it is still my greatest frustration. Whilst I am being somewhat productive I am happy I am on the right course for me, the quality of my laborious efforts are not the best at first, but when I go back, rearrange the words I feel it is getting stronger and closer to the way I want it to sound. The essence of the story I find captivating I hope eventually others will to. I am only human and this is my first attempt at writing a book, hopefully it will not be my last.


My husband, is eager for me to be successful, already making his wish list as to what he plans to buy, and to be able to name the day he can retire, and live off me. Yes, he makes me smile, and laugh, one can dream !!!! Anyway as he jokes I carry on. I find I am mainly pleased with My main female lead Mia I am happy with who she is and what she stands for, however my male lead Declan a name I recall from when I was nursing, he was  a doctor I once worked with,he was Irish and lovely. But I am less convinced at this point, whether indeed I even like the name. A name means so much, do you remember how hard it was when it came to choosing a name for your child. Well this is even harder ! I can make a mental picture of how he is meant to look, and how I want him to be, just need to feel happy with this name ? What do you think ? Even though my book is a fictional one there are moments in it  where real events are mentioned,  there are also elements of science fiction mixed into the mix of this story. Having plotted out my story board and having reached approximately half way, I believe I have the potential for at least a second book within this format, which I have very, very loosely started to write down, bits of scribble!!


Talking abouts names I have used some of my families names in the story line, they are just so familiar to me,  easy to add, and picture certain qualities I like.Other names I have used, as there are so many that you can find, when you are searching, one site was baby names, there are so many, but I have used names that are in my circle of friends or acquaintances. Whilst writing my book I am also trying to continue to read as many books as possible to observe as many styles of writing and improve and broaden my range of vocabulary it is so important, anything that adds to developing my creativity  is essential. I would love to have opinions  from other writers as to how they began,their  triumphs, and failures, difficulties, after all we are only human!!! We make mistakes,we just have to learn from them, and improve. I am writing a book because I have a story I want to share with everyone,it comes from within  and a desire to get the story written and published, this is my journey and I am totally committed, no matter what anyone thinks, this is my dream, my quest. At the end I will have created something I can keep,this is my record of that journey. 

"Don't aim for success if you want it,just do what you love and believe in and it will come naturally"  David Frost.