Thursday, February 16, 2017

The longest night of my life!




I haven't  written a post since August 2016. Now, I am choosing to write about the loss of my mum which I feel compelled to do.

On Christmas Eve, 2016 as I sat with all my boys, husband included, and in a tearful flood of emotion, I talked to my family about my fears for my mother. For days before, I had the acute sensation that my dad was sending me a message, I kept finding lots of pennies. The message was clear in my mind.... that everything will be all right...it's okay.

 I didn't truly understand what he meant until much later.

My beautiful and lovely mum, Josephine was eighty-seven years old and had been living with Alzheimer's disease for the past five years. Mum was also in stage five kidney failure which she had been in for about a year. Days after we toasted to 2017,  I received a devastating phone call from my sister to say that mum was very ill. It wasn't unexpected, in fact; I had been planning and waiting for this time to come and as an ex nurse I knew mum's time was coming to an end, but I still needed more confirmation. I spoke with mum's doctor who advised me to move my planned trip forward as mum's condition was grave.

When an ocean separates you from your family, the stress, frustration and sadness of hearing such news adds a pressure that you simply cannot imagine until you're in that situation. I rescheduled my flight. My husband told me just to go and not worry! My brilliant neighbors pitched in to help my husband with my youngest who is still in school, and I flew to Wales. I made the decision to extend my stay for a month to be with my mum and sisters. That four weeks turned into six, but I do not regret one single moment. I tell you for why, when I walked in the room that first day, my mum didn't recognize me at all, by the end she wouldn't let go of my hand.

 It was the most intense period of my life.  Like living in a bubble. The days consisted of getting up and visiting mum. The evenings involved drinking wine, sobbing, and discussing with my sisters how we thought mum had been that day. A weight grew and pressed down on my chest for weeks, physically at times making breathing hard. Sleeping was fragmented for fear of missing a phone call with bad news.

The days blurred.

A seesawing of mum's condition put us on a roller-coaster never knowing what we would face once we entered the nursing home. There were good overly chatty days, days we worked on a jigsaw together, my sister and I decorated a bird house for mum, and attended a religious service singing songs and reciting the lords prayer which I sobbed my way through. Days we held hands and reminisced over old times. These memories are forever ingrained on my brain.


There were dark days too, but I don't want to dwell on those.

You would think that when your loved one is elderly and their quality of life severely diminished that losing them would be a comfort, an end to their suffering. To a degree it is, but your mother is still gone. The vacant space like a black hole threatening to swallow you up if you think about it for too long.

The chance to touch her, hold her hand, have a hug, a kiss or a simple conversation is gone forever.

The loss is raw.  The hole that opens inside you enormous, and the tears come in waves like a tsunami hitting the shore.

The reason, I give myself for writing this post is because in the weeks that led up to my mother's passing, my sisters and I were searching on the Internet for information about understanding and knowing what the last few days of someone's life would be like. Even with my background, and the fact that we were all there when my dad passed away over seventeen years ago at home we were all seeking information to help us know how long we had left with mum. And would we know that mum was in the final stages?  SEE MARIE CURIE LINK BELOW

I think this was because we all wanted to be there at the end. We didn't want mum to be alone, and we didn't want to miss that last chance to say good-bye and to make sure she was comfortable.

We all read the information about making the end of life as peaceful as possible. We were left alone with mum in her room, and we played soft music in the background tending to mum brushing her hair, giving oral care and offering reassurance that everything would be okay!!!

I have to tell you at this point I am crying. It hits me like a ton of bricks. I'm using my dad's words to let mum know it is okay to let, go and pass on.  We all say these words multiple times in those final days as a way to let mum know she is going to a better place. We tell her over and over, we love her, hold her hand, and smooth her hair.

Once the syringe  driver is in place all the upsetting symptoms are  controlled, and mum is finally settled.

The body goes through a physiological process when it is dying and for the last twenty-four hours I know without a doubt, we are at that stage. Mum was unconscious and hadn't  opened her eyes or made any sign of awareness.

My sisters go home for some rest, there is still time, and I camp next to mum's bed watching and waiting. It isn't hard to do this. Mum gave me life, gave me unconditional love, made me who I am and the world will not be the same without her. I don't want to leave and feel more than anything else in my life this is why I am here, to be at her side through the long dark night.

I will admit, when my sisters left, I was scared, and as the early-morning  hours crept by there were a few times I called the night nurse as mum stirred and her breathing changed. I felt it was up to me, to call my sisters when mums condition warranted their presence and I didn't want to mess it up.

Just before dawn, mum's breathing became very loud. ( "death rattle" a documented final stage) Even though I knew what this was it was far more distressing that anything I could have imagined. I burst into tears and called the nurse, the sound louder than I realized it would be and went on for a couple of hours. It sounded as if mum was gargling or drowning in fluid. The nurse gave an injection which eventually worked and the noise diminished.

The morning staff arrived. They re-positioned mum and made her comfortable and when I returned to the room, I knew listening again to her breathing it was time to make the phone call. A short time later, my sisters and I sat around mum holding her hands, talking to her and letting her know, she wasn't alone. Her breathing by then took on a machine-like  quality sounding like a sewing machine or a ventilator. Then, in the final moments, her breathing took long drawn out pauses to the point that you weren't sure whether she was breathing but for another intake of air until eventually mum took her last breath.



There are no words of comfort when you lose someone you love. Grieving is a process. We all grieve differently. I'm not sure how long it will take to get over the loss of mum. There are days that are absolutely fine, then a memory surfaces, or I think I will phone mum or stare at her picture that now hangs in my bedroom or I smell her perfume, and the tears fall. The tears have fallen a lot today!

However, know this, mum had her three daughters that she loved with all her heart with her right at the end, and I know she wouldn't have wanted it any other way. She is now at peace and none of us wanted mum to suffer any longer.

But the world is different now.

A new chapter begins and I am determined to make her proud. xxx

P.S, On the day of my mums funeral a cheeky and beautiful red Robin appeared at the graveside taking center stage. I know mum is in heaven and happy with her beloved Jeff, but will be a guardian angel always watching over those she left behind. Love you always mum xxxx




                                                       END OF LIFE GUIDE MARIE CURIE


Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Friday, August 5, 2016

Author Karen Maffeo



After attending the New England Author expo at Danversport last week I met some really great local authors, and one of them was Karen from Maine.


A little bit about Karen  Maffeo.

Karen Maffeo Creamer of Wells, Maine has just published her first novel, One Brave Thing. She has been a lifelong lover of and reader of books, and now she is also the author of one!
Her book is about a young woman whose dating life starts off on the wrong foot. Bad luck and naïve choices complicate situations and make her relationships so much harder. Bebe wants to get married someday so she forges ahead, adapting her approach, learning from her mistakes, and overcoming obstacles to reach her goals.
Since 2010, Karen has written a novel annually in November as part of National Novel Writing Month (nanowrimo.org). One Brave Thing is a product of this practice!
Karen celebrated 25 years of marriage to her husband Bill this June, and is the very proud mother of a son and a daughter, Anthony and Isabelle. She is a Registered Nurse Health Coach and Reiki Master Teacher. She blogs at kwrites.com, karencoaches.com, and has a photo blog at wellsbeachblog.wordpress.com. You can reach Karen at kmcwrites@gmail.com





                                                 







1. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR AND SO YOU ASPIRE TO WRITE LIKE HER?
​Toughie! The first names that come to mind are Lisa Scottoline, Anita Shreve, Elizabeth Berg, and Kate Braestrup. I have enjoyed (and in many cases, LOVED) every book I have read by all of these authors. I know that if I see any of these names on the cover, I will be happy reading their book. I would love it if people think of me as an author like that!
2. HOW DO YOU COME UP WITH YOUR IDEAS?
I never have trouble coming up with ideas. I have hundreds of ideas all the time. I have trouble coming up with the time to act on them.
3. HOW MANY BOOKS HAVE YOU WRITTEN and WHAT IS YOUR GENRE?
So far, I have written 4 books, one of which I published this year, ONE BRAVE THING. The genre for this book, and 2 of my others is fiction. One is non-fiction.
4. BEING A BUSY MOM, HOW DO I MANAGE MY WRITING?
It's a challenge to find un-spoken-for time! I work full time and have a husband and two kids (one grown and one still growing). I am always struggling to fit it all in. One thing that helps me is participating in National Novel Writing Month every year in November. I discovered through this practice that structure is my friend! And that I can do ANYTHING for 1 month!
5. YOU ARE A SELF PUBLISHED AUTHOR. DO YOU THINK YOU WILL TRY TO SUBMIT TO A TRADITIONAL PUBLISHER?
As of today, there is a publisher in New York that is looking at my book. That said, I love having 100% control over my work, and it would be hard to give that up. We'll see.
6. ANY ADVICE FOR ASPIRING AUTHORS?
Yes! Sign up for NaNoWriMo 2016! It's free. Here's the website: nanowrimo.org. Also, if your computer is unreliable, try writing in Google Docs. It backs up automatically every few seconds and you can access your work from any computer or device that can access the internet.
7. WHAT HOBBIES DO YOU ENJOY?
Reading and writing are my favorite things to do. I also knit sporadically. I love making SoulCollage cards. I like to watch cooking shows on TV with my daughter, and reality shows with my husband. I like to talk about writing and travel with my son. I love anything metaphysical (rocks and crystals, reiki, oracle cards, and such). Oh, I write several blogs: kwrites.com karencoaches.com and wellsbeachblog.wordpress.com
8. HOW DO YOU COPE WITH STRESS?
I have a daily meditation practice, which helps immensely. Also, I LOVE the ocean, sitting at the ocean, walking at the ocean. It is truly the cure for what ails me.
9. WHAT IS THE BEST PART ABOUT BEING AN AUTHOR?
The best part is that I have fulfilled a dream I've had since childhood: to write a book.
10. WHAT I SEE HAPPENING FOR MYSELF AS AN AUTHOR IN 2016: I will continue attending book expos, giving readings wherever I am asked to go, getting another manuscript ready to publish (goal: February 2017), continue meeting other authors, and writing about it all in my blog.

WAYS TO CONNECT:
my blogs (also mentioned above) kwrites.com karencoaches.com wellsbeachblog.wordpress.com
My email address: kmcwrites@gmail.com

Thursday, May 5, 2016

R.J.Davies Mornix


I would like to welcome author R.J.Davies Mornix to my blog this morning to talk about her latest release!









                                             My book is called "Maddox Files: Back to Business"
                                                                       

                                                                       


Rhonda
26 year old Dice Maddox living in Toronto, Ontario struggles with her failing love life and a career she doesn't love deciding to get back into a business she was once good at. Ryan Winters her first client was a confirmed bachelor until he had a small car accident, a woman named Lily Winters claims to have been married to him for 6 months. Digging deeper into Lily Winters, Dice soon discovers that she isn't who she says she is but wait what is she? a demon? an alien? will Dice Maddox first case back be her last?


Short Bio: R. J. Davies Mornix dreamed of being a published author since she was eight years old. She has always been a fan of science fiction and fantasy. She grew up in Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario, had lived in Toronto for a few years, where she met her husband, Dave Mornix, who has been her biggest fan and supporter. She now lives back in Sault Ste. Marie with her husband, two sons, Davey and Denziel, and their two cats, writing plots, conversations, and scenes in ratty notebooks, napkins, and slips of torn-up, coffee-stained envelopes. When asked why she writes, her answer is, "It's a need, really, like breathing ... I have to do it."


     
                                                       




Rhonda
http://www.rjdaviesmornix.ca/maddox-files--back-to-business.html

Maddox Files: Back to Business
This book is the first in a series of books to come! Click here to meet the Characters for this book and recurring in the books to come.
rjdaviesmornix.ca


                                                     



   

it's available in eBook, Soft Cover, Hard Cover
and it's available on Amazon.com, Amazon.ca, Balboa Press, Barnes & Noble, Indigo/Chapters/Coles, Kobo
it's a private investigation/science fiction



                                         



                                         



Thursday, April 28, 2016

ALERT--- Author Interview





                                                                               MY BIO
Debbie De Louise is a reference librarian at a public library on Long Island. Her mystery romance novel, “A Stone’s Throw” was published November 2015 by Limitless Publishing. Her first novel, “Cloudy Rainbow” received an honorable mention in the Writer’s Digest self-published awards. She was awarded the Lawrence C. Lobaugh Memorial Award in Journalism from Long Island University/C.W. Post where she earned a B.A. in English and a M.L.S. in Library Science.  A member of the Cat Writer’s Association, she has published articles in Cats Magazine, Catnip (Tufts University Veterinary Newsletter), and Catster. Her short mystery, “Stitches in Time” was published in the Cat Crimes Through Time Anthology. 



                                                                    




She lives on Long Island with her husband, daughter, and two cats and is currently working on a second Cobble Cove mystery and a standalone suspense novel.

My second book was “Cloudy Rainbow,” a paranormal romance featuring a cat and a virtual séance. I self-published this book through Booklocker.com. My current novel is “A Stone’s Throw” published by Limitless Publishing, and I am working on the sequel as well as a new standalone suspense novel.



                                    




I love interviewing authors and today I have the greatest pleasure in talking with Debbie De Louise....

1. When did you start writing? I’ve been writing since I was young, but my first published works were articles that were published in the late 1990’s. My first published short story was in an anthology published in 1999, and my first book was published in 2008.

2. What genre do you write and why? This isn’t an easy question. It’s hard to define a particular genre for my works. All of them include romance and mystery. “Cloudy Rainbow” was classified a paranormal romance, while “A Stone’s Throw” was considered a cozy mystery. I see my new standalone, tentatively titled, “Sea Scope,” as a mainstream novel of suspense.

3. How do you plan your story before you start writing? I’m a pantster which means I don’t create detailed outlines or character sketches beforehand but work with a flexible one as I write. I start with a general idea, and then the story develops as I go.

4.How long from the idea of the next book until completion? It usually takes me two months to finish a first draft, and my novels tend to be 80K or higher. It takes a few months longer for me to edit and revise it, so the total time is usually around 4 to 6 months before I am able to submit it to a publisher.

5. Do you use Beta-readers ? Yes. I’ve had some very nice fellow authors read my rough drafts, and they’ve been immensely helpful providing useful feedback.

6. What are the pro's & con's of the publishing world today? The pro’s are it’s a great feeling to know your work is being read especially when you get good reviews and comments from fans. It’s also fun to create characters and plots that come alive. I always enjoy reading my own books as I write them. The con’s mostly consist of the effort involved in marketing and promoting the book after it is published and, of course, finding a publisher or agent to begin with because the field is very competitive and people are reading less books today.

7.If you could interview another author who would it be and why? I’m a fan of Nora Roberts and believe she’s a very down-to-earth person despite her success. I think I’d like to interview her.

8. Tell us about your books and the characters? The theme of Cloudy Rainbow is death but not in a negative way but in a way that is a part of life. It touches upon reincarnation and something known as soul transfer that I read about in a Greg Isles novel. The main character, a computer programmer, has lost her fiancée in a tragic accident. She is also losing her old cat. I wrote this right after I’d lost my cat, Floppy, and the cat in this book is named after him. I won’t give away much more, but there is a new romance that develops in the story for the main character and a virtual world. The timeline moves back and forth through time as the plot connects.
 

A Stone’s Throw is about a librarian whose husband is killed in a hit and run accident and who decides to visit his old hometown to see if she can locate his family who were estranged from him for unknown reasons. She travels to the small upstate town of Cobble Cove (fictional name) where she meets a newspaper publisher, also widowed, who she falls in love with. As the story develops and she meets the other quirky residents and ends up accepting a job to work in the town library, some strange events occur that lead her to wonder if her new lover had something to do with her husband’s death.

9. What does the future hold for you? I wish I knew. I’m hoping to continue writing. I’ve already finished a sequel to “A Stone’s Throw” and hope to write a few more books in the series if there’s enough interest. I also hope to publish “Sea Scope” and would like to find an agent to represent it. I want to continue to build my fan base and eventually write full time after I retire in about ten years, so it would be great to get some titles behind me by then and a good number of followers.

                                                       



Connect with me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/debbie.delouise.author/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Deblibrarian

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/2750133.Debbie_De_Louise

Amazon Author Page: http://www.amazon.com/Debbie-De-Louise/e/B0144ZGXPW/

Website/Blog/Newsletter Sign-Up: https://debbiedelouise.wordpress.com





Here are the buy links for a Stone’s Throw:

Buy links for A STONE’S THROW:

Amazon U.S.: KINDLE: http://amzn.to/1MjaJgN

Amazon Australia: http://bit.ly/1Sdh82D

Amazon Canada: http://amzn.to/1SdheHi

Amazon U.K.: http://amzn.to/1QutXBW

Barnes and Noble: http://bit.ly/1nQPyv4

Kobo: http://bit.ly/1KGYHep

Also available on iTunes and Ingram



Buy links for CLOUDY RAINBOW:












Booklocker.com (paperback and ebook – pdf only): http://booklocker.com/books/3754.html

Amazon (paperback only): http://amzn.to/1Tv3xBv   
             



                                                   


If you want to know more about Debbie, she will be at   THE VINEYARDS OF ALLEGRETTI RELEASE PARTY . There are prizes up for grabs swing by!

Monday, April 25, 2016

NEW RELEASE!!!









Way, back in 2011, I made the decision to enter the Mills and Boon New Voices competition. I had never entered a writing contest before and had no real clue what was required, but I took a risk. I knew the story I wanted to write it was one of those plots that circulate every now and again inside my brain more than on paper. Anyway, I wrote my four thousand words and sent it off. I had a lot of fun reading everyone’s entries and felt overwhelming how under-prepared I was for the talent of everyone else. It was wonderful to feel part of something that everyone was excited and passionate about and connecting with other authors sharing our stories was brilliant.

My story didn’t get picked, but that was alright. I knew one day I would re-write it and finish the story that I envisioned for Vivian King and Michael Allegretti.

On Friday, April 22nd, 2016 The Vineyards of Allegretti the full story was born! This is my fifth book and my second adult romance. I always find when starting a new project that the demons of self-doubt perch themselves on my shoulders, and I felt them linger for so long making me question if I could pull this story together and then head bent and tapping away the story flowed for me.

                                                                   

                                                         

Blurb

Photos of an intoxicated and out-of-control Vivian King, taken after a night in Paris, are splashed across the tabloids. Her memories of the night are vague. Suspended from college, her only choice is to return home to Michael Allegretti, the man who broke her heart four years ago. He holds the key to her frozen heart and her financial independence. This time, Vivian isn’t leaving until she’s claimed them both and given Michael a taste of his own medicine.

However, Michael Allegretti has plans of his own and will not allow the family's vineyards to be divided. When a disastrous business venture risks the vineyards falling into the wrong hands, he decides to use every trick in the book to keep what he has worked so tirelessly for, even if it means settling for a marriage of convenience.

With the mafia involved, plus a psychotic ex-lover, Vivian risks not only losing her heart but her life as well.

Excerpt!

“No one touches what is mine.”

He hissed the words out as she stared up at his obsidian eyes, the whites so bright and the iris intense and captivating. Vivian noticed small lines next to them and his brows dipped, making him look tormented. She arched her body against his chest and inhaled the exotic citrus scent that was Michael. His hand wrapped round her waist as he pressed against her. He was breathing heavily; so was she. She smoothed her finger across the seam of his lips, and he closed his eyes. Stepping up, she kissed him gently and in a second, the flame that had been stoked burst into a roaring fire, devouring her. His hands held her face as he gave her a hard, punishing kiss back and when that wasn’t enough, he pushed his tongue inside, tasting every corner of her mouth.
Michael released his hold on her face as the kiss deepened, moving his hands to the top of her jeans to stroke the soft skin under her camisole with his thumb. Without resistance to his caress, his hand climbed higher and skimmed over her flat belly to reach for her breast. Shivers rippled through her body. When his fingers bordered the lacy bra, she broke the breathtaking kiss, gasping for oxygen. Still his hand explored and brushed over the tip of her sensitive nipple, causing her pulse to soar.


                                                                 
                                                          


“Michael, you must stop. We’re in broad daylight—please, someone will see.”
He lowered his head and nipped her lower lip with his teeth. Ignoring her, he continued kissing and licking her neck down to her collarbone, and she clutched his shoulders as delightful sensations burst in her stomach. As the passionate onslaught continued, she was beginning not to care, but knew his reason for this display was because he was angry, nothing more. That cold awareness made her push him away.
Michael let her go, and he adjusted his shirt but his eyes devoured hers.

“You belong to me Vivian, don’t forget it. If you want your money, play by the rules or be prepared for the rules to change. You won’t be working in the field tomorrow and it has nothing to do with what happened today.  I didn’t want you to be exhausted and arranged for my friend Carla who is a dress designer to show you some outfits. I have picked out a suitable outfit for the engagement party, but you need to try it on and she will discuss your wedding dress. From next week on, you will work in the winery in the greeting center, helping with the tours and from there, we’ll see. I can be nice Vivian but don’t make me the enemy! ” And just like that, he walked away, leaving her shaken to the core.

I'm always looking for feedback and love to hear from readers. Let me know if you buy a copy what you think  of the story and the characters.

BUY LINKS

AMAZON USA

AMAZON UK


The Vineyards of Allegretti book trailer!

BOOK TRAILER

                                                              


Thursday, April 7, 2016

Romance author Holly J. Gill Highlight






                            Hello, and thank you, Jennifer,for having me over on your blog.

It is always a pleasure to have a fellow author and Brit appear on my blog, thanks! Tell us a little about yourself...

Introduction

Allow me to introduce myself, I’m Holly J. Gill an indie author of the adult contemporary romance Innocence, about a young woman who has lost her path in life, having nothing left and scared for her unborn child, until a sweet young man saves the day, only all is not, we presume. I also have an erotic series called Desires, having so far five books out of the series about a sex club. Free your imagination! I am a wife, mum and nana, and love to write in my spare time although since my publisher closed their doors last September my book writing has become a business and find myself discovering a whole new world.


Interview
Being a mum of 3, a grandmother and you work? full-time??, how do you find time to write? do you have a structure to how and when you write?
My children are now adults, making me feel old, although I’m only 41. Yes, I’m a Nana to twins, Thea Louise and Jacob Luke who are 14 months old, I love those two little monkeys, being a Nana is special and the love is so different, they always make me smile even if I’m in a foul mood lol. I work in a care home, two days a week that are 12 hours shifts, very tiring though, but means I have more time for family, friends and writing. I try to structure my days so I make the time to dedicate to the characters twittering in my head.

2. How did you start your career in writing? You have loved to write since you were in school I read somewhere, did you start writing short stories, enter competitions or dive right into writing a novel? 

I did start writing short stories as a child. The only time I enjoyed school was when the teacher said essay. I beamed, grabbing my attention immediately, although stipulated to me to reduce my word count, I always thought teachers were meant to encourage? Either way, I’d write a short story then once marked take it home and finish it, it carried on into my adulthood, writing when I could around my small family, this was when the stories turned into novels. I write because I enjoy it, a hobby something to keep my mind occupied.

3. Ideas for stories, where do you get them from and do you write a plot outline for each story? Keep notes on research or character development?

Good question, ideas I have no idea they come from nowhere, I can see an image, hear a tune and that’s it the novel begins. No notes or plots, I write down research such as a place, to make it more accurate but otherwise, the characters take hold and I write what they want me too.

4. How long does it take you to write a story from beginning to end?

Depends on my private and work life, if the characters are talking well, then weeks, my recent novel which is with my new current editor was written in three.

5. Love or hate editing?
                                
This I struggle with, as my problem is stepping away from the characters and becoming a reader. I find it hard and need guidance.

6. You were signed with Secret Cravings Publisher like me, how did you find the transition from being signed to be self-published? 

Scared, worried, daunting, and thankfully due to the wonderful family at SCP I mailed many for advice on what I needed to do to become self-published, they all are brilliant. I still find being an indie author scary, alone and always discovering new things. So much to learn.

7. The future for Indie writers where do you see it going?

Gosh I have no idea, for me I’m just going to keep writing and doing what I love until one day my imagination dries up, but then I have fifty books written in draft I could start re-working on them.

8. Best marketing tip for authors?

Promote, promote, promote.

9. Advice for aspiring writers?

Stalk authors, find out what they do, and ask questions. Do your homework don’t be afraid to ask questions.

10. Do you ever see yourself attempting a different genre than romance?  

Oh yes, I have touched on paranormal and action.

I would love to include a little about both erotic and sweet adult series, if you would like to send me a couple of lines on them and some pictures....

Innocence Series: Adult Contemporary Romance, with sexual tension

The series will come as:
Innocence
Innocence of Love
Breaking Innocence
Return to Innocence

Blurb for book 1

Calvin Edwards has everything he could dream about— perfect lifestyle, running the family real-estate company back in London. He takes a holiday up north to visit his parents only to find a young pregnant woman attempting to take her life. Wishing to help, Calvin becomes a friend to her, only fears he’s out of his depth. Just when he thinks he can do this his past resurfaces, sending his life crashing.

Kacey is pregnant and her life is out of control with nowhere left to go. She descends on her mum for one last chance for help, only to have the door slammed in her face. At her wits end, she is alone, scared, and helpless until Calvin comes along. He becomes a dear friend giving her kindness, something she thought no longer existed in the world. Only she finds what she’d pushed to the back of her mind through selfish pain is back. Her past with all its mistakes has come back to life!


                                                         






Excerpt



“What and you’re Mr. Perfect?” she growled.
“No, far from it, but I would not cheat on my girlfriend and certainly not one expecting my baby. I am sure we could have found some way around any difficulties and compromised,” he said, honestly.
“Well, you don’t know anything about me or my life, and I think you should just walk away and forget you even saw me,” she roared.
She turned her head away noticing her staring back down at the river.
His heart skipped beats. He rolled his tongue over his teeth, followed by biting down on his lips, eager to think of something to say.
“I cannot do that. I mean, look at you,” he said desperately. He stepped forward.
“Yeah, pregnant with no-one wanting me, what is there? My baby is better off coming with me,” she said distraught.
Calvin became more worried that she was about to jump. Clearly, the girl was in a bad place.
He watched her release one of her hands from the rail. “No, please, no…don’t do it. Look I can help,” he said panicking. He reacted quickly rushing forward to stretch his hand out to grab her if she went. Only he was feet away from her and had no idea how much weight the rotten wooden bridge would take. His heart beat overtime in his chest. He held his breath, stopping himself close to the embankment before he fell in the river. He feared she was about to jump.
“Please, I can help you,” he had to convince her, what she was thinking or attempting to do was wrong and he could try and help her give her support, tell her anything just to get her of the damn unstable bridge. Calvin had no clue what he was saying or what to say, but what he did know was there was a pregnant vulnerable girl thinking about taking her life.
“I have nothing, no home, no friends, and no money. I slept rough last night,” she screamed. “So don’t fucking tell me what to do. Go home and live happy…I have nothing to be happy about,” she snarled.



                                                     



Desires series: Erotica, BDSM, kinky romance.

Desires
Touching Angel’s Desires
Desires’ Secrets
Embracing Desires
Dan’s Desires

Desires—a place where fantasies are made flesh and dreams become real. From BDSM to being a dog, Desires can provide it with bells on, if that’s your kink.

Stacie Clifford’s only desire is to regain her sexual confidence after her recent escape from an abusive marriage. She joins Desires looking for re-education in the joys of her body. There is only one condition; her contract states emotional attraction between tutor and student is forbidden. Stacie is fine with that; her heart is so battered she has no desire to give it to anyone else.

Then she meets her instructor, Dan. Instantly attracted, at first Stacie thinks it will help to make her sexually comfortable with him. But when she realises she is falling in love, she can’t tear herself away, contract or no. Stacie knows that, no matter how kind and caring Dan appears, he’s just doing his job. Can Stacie overcome her own Desires and walk away?

Excerpt

She looked away from him, staring at the chocolate mousse on the table. She smiled as she imagined covering his cock in it.
“I do actually,” she replied sitting up to look at Dan. “I quite fancy trying out the feast.”
“Oh yes? Do you want to go downstairs?”
“Nope, I want to stay right here.”
She climbed off the bed to get the brown paper bag that contained the items she had bought earlier. One by one she placed the lace handcuffs, blindfold and ticklers on the bed. Dan’s eyes widened as Stacie picked up the lace handcuffs and climbed onto the bed on all fours. She crawled her way up to Dan, her breasts swaying. She grabbed his willing hands and he moved them up above his head to the headboard. Stacie put the cuffs on him and reached to get the blindfold. She tied it tightly round his eyes and sat back. He looked vulnerable and delicate.
Stacie climbed off the bed and admired his helpless body. He was wearing only his trunks, the bulge of his burgeoning excitement evident. She headed over to the table picking up the chocolate mousse, and then climbed back onto the bed, kneeling close to Dan.
Stacie licked her lips, looking at his eager face. She tightened her bottom, feeling her arousal already running wild around her body. Stacie moved closer, pressing her lips against his chest. She held her head up to watch his reaction. He shifted under her, and his lips parted slightly. Stacie moved her body up so her mouth was in line with his. She pressed her soft moist lips against his. Dan responded, kissing her back. She pulled away.
“No,” she told him, with a tsk of disapproval. Stacie wanted full control of everything, including his reactions. He stopped instantly.
Stacie kissed him again, moving her lips around his, caressing them. She tasted his lips, then dipped her tongue into his mouth feeling her body responding with pleasure. Stacie took hold of his bottom lip to bite it lightly, nibbling her way along.




                                           

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