Friday, January 11, 2013

What makes the ladies Swoon???

It's Friday and I'm in a rather frivolous and jolly mood. After a recent girlie night out that involved some drinking, playing pool, and soaking up the atmosphere at a lively Irish bar. Yes, I do leave my computer on occasion and venture out. And when I do, I realise I should go out more often !!

So, I'm exploring today, what makes the ladies Swoon?? After all it's necessary to have an understanding of what stirs a woman's passion, when writing romance novels and to have insight into the physiology and psychology behind it. Our bodies were made for this. We were created to find a mate, that's biology and how the human race continues to survive. But what draws us to one particular person ??    
And what makes a hottie? Is it the swarthy good looks,  the brooding stare? The smile? Or the sense of humor? The voice? The way they move on the dance floor? Or the abs...?
 Justin Bieber with his youthful, cute, and cuddly looks has been selected in the past as a Teen hottie, beating other favourites that were much older such as Ian Somerhalder, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner. 
  Elizabeth Kane, teaches Psychology and she states the first step to falling in love is "The initial attraction." And that when we are attracted, "It's a powerful moment when we are aware of our heart pounding,"    

Wikipedia states that the," Laws of Attraction is the name given to the belief that 'like attracts like' and that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts, one can bring about positive or negative results."

Using this statement it follows that if you believe you are attractive then you search for a partner that you also perceive as being equally attractive.
At," Psych Central" they believe that women may choose a partner based on the kind of relationship they want to develop. For a long-term relationship women seek a good provider for themselves and their children, but when seeking a short term or fling look for more physical attractive and masculine traits?? The rules here may have changed as many women are the bread winners and don't look to their partners for the means to support them and therefore it wouldn't be a factor.

David Buss a psychology researcher from Texas Austin supported this belief, but added," Attractive women want it all."  Meaning they didn't only search for someone that was aesthetically pleasing and strong they also looked for someone who was trusting, of good moral background, that was financially secure, confident, charming, trusting...Is there such an individual ???? 

Physical Attractiveness,"Physical attractiveness is the degree to which a person's physical traits are considered aesthetically pleasing or beautiful." Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and when we are gripped by someone we find attractive our body has it's own response.

Psychologist Dr Rachel Needle states,"Specific chemicals substances such as oxytocin, phenothylamine and dopamine have been found to play a role in human experiences and behaviours associated with love and attraction. They make us feel alert, excited, and wanting to bond."

So you see girls when we see a hottie it's natural that we became all flustered and hot, not because we're menopausal but simply because our bodies are made that way. :))

What makes a hottie is really an individual perception, looks are they important? The smile definitely moves us, personality is a must. A sense of humor is a strong factor, charm, intellect, confidence, nice fit-body? Lovely accent, generous spirit. Strength. Piercing eyes?
Wealth, doesn't seem to matter, the most repeated statement about what makes a man attractive and a hottie in my book is, "A man that can carry a conversation and make you laugh. A man who possesses confidence and charm, looks fade, but unless he loses his mind, his charm will always be there."
 So, whilst physical attributes might be initially important, when you have that first powerful encounter, if there are not enough other much desired qualities to back those looks up, the attraction falls flat. A man may look aesthetically beautiful, but if his voice is rather too high pitched or he simply cannot boogie on down, an "All American Face" isn't  going to be enough to get those hormones pumping...
Ian Sommerhalder is my hottie. Who's yours??? Happy Friday...


  1. I love this post. I am now 65 and want to be attractive to women. All my life only a precious few women, and the more precious because they were so rare, found me sexually attractive. It remains a mystery to me. And, perhaps, a mystery I shouldn't explore. I don't have the physical attributes that I think most women find immediately appealing, but when women give time to know me, sometimes they are then attracted to me. From this male point of view, I, too, when I get to know a woman that I may not be immediately attracted to, I become attracted to as I know her. Perhaps Person trumps Image.

    1. Thanks so much, I enjoyed writing it. We all have a perception about the way we look and our appeal to the opposite sex and it's not always the way other's see us. Confidence and being comfortable in our own skin is something that really shines through and can make someone truly stand out in my opinion, but it's hard to learn if we're filled with self doubt. I believe person trumps, image every time, and absolutely the more you get to know someone the more you look beyond their physical attributes. Love yourself first and others will too.

  2. This is an interesting post, Jen. Personally, I like tall, dark and handsome, however I have to Ryan Gosling is a fittie! My list of celeb crushes is far too long. Though, in a man I like confidence, intelligence, strength (mentally and physically), ability to make me laugh, passionate about life, and can put up with my mood swings :-) Hubby checks all the boxes! :-) x

  3. Samantha, thanks for your comment. I admit I'm drawn to strong dark looks,but sometimes it can be the way a person smiles or the sound of their voice. Once, you get chatting I look beyond good looks,conversation and a sense of humor is so important. I'm lucky too to have a husband that still makes me laugh, ,that makes me challenge myself,know's me so well and is still with me . And, yup he manages with all my tantrums. x

  4. Hey Jennie, great blog. I have to put my imput in. The sort of man i like has to be able to make me laugh, be kind, unselfish with good personality.
    My celebrity hottie is Gerrard Butler (sorry about the spelling)hes not bad looking and has that lovely irish accent.

  5. I love Gerard Butler too! I loved him in P.S I love you. He's definitely got loads of sex appeal and that rugged Irish

  6. I was very happy to have found this site. I wanted to thank you for this excellent post. I definitely enjoyed every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post in the future

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    1. Hi Kavin, Thanks for your lovely comment I had fun writing this piece. Hope to see you here again soon. Jen :)