Thursday, September 16, 2010


So the kids are back in school ,my oldest is working and I had imagined that my time would be free ,and that the day would be looming in front of me with nothing to fill it .However ,the opposite seems to be true I seem to spend more time tidying up than ever !!!Now I find myself being up early ,getting all the children off to school making sure they have had some  breakfast and made their packed lunches to take with them .Then there is the cleaning to be done ,this is never ending also the washing to be put on the drying to be sorted .This goes on ,there are  general household chores to be done and then I am off to the gym.

In the 9 years I have been at home my day has revolved mainly around arranging playdates and  activities for the boys  to be kept busy and entertained . As a result , I know I am not as fit and healthy as I need to be this is important to me as I try to discover what it is that I am going to do with the rest of my life . It is important  to recapture my energy to be able to make the most of the day and still be able to carry out all that is necessary when the children come home .Namely , cooking tea ,doing homework taking them to their sports , reading with my youngest, and then getting everyone to bed .

Although  , the boys are all in full time school, the day is really not long , the older boys are home off the bus by 2.30 starving ,and demanding attention with cries of ," I need your help with my homework " times two .My window for writing my blog and actually doing the writing that I love is very short  .Being a novice to creative writing I can appreciate that even when you have time, sometimes you cannot get started . So with that in mind  I already feel a sense of panic knowing I have to fit my desires into this  short window of opportunity .However ,what gives me a sense of belief in myself comes from within and I try to focus on doing things one step at a time believing as I do that it will all come together  once I establish a good routine .I will be fine !!!I will be !!!

So, I head off to my local gym for the first time in over 6 years I am unfit I get breathless walking up a small incline .I am  over weight by at least 1 stone so this step for me has many implications  . I hope ! I want to get fit to increase my stamina and to lose some very necessary extra curves and bumps .Previously when I was a member of the YMCA I used to exercise whilst the boys were swimming or undertaking  classes and I used to love the feeling I had when I could work out . I am not co-ordinated at all and even though I had tried different programmes   such as Step , I just never quite got it .I would be going the opposite way to everyone else. My friends would say the more you go you will learn the routine but seriously I just couldn't get it .In the end I would hide in the back out of embarrassment so I stopped going . The tread mills ,the bikes I can manage, I get to choose my time and the  incline plus  there is a stop button if it all gets too much . I love it .I do get a bit nervous as I am walking quite fast ,and  feel tempted to run which causes me to think I may  have a heart attack  or to think that I will  be very unceremoniously  catapulted off the thing .So I take it slow and I hope to build myself up so one day you will see me running on those machines looking like the lady who is next to me .She is very slim her legs are long and lean with a  small bottom and very flat abdomen .That will be me one day  apart from the long bit as I am only 5ft so I will  never be described by anyone as having long lean legs . 

My work out does inspire me .I feel good coming out apart from the fact that I cannot stop shaking and that I spent an incredible amount of time just trying to get my Ipod working .  I could not hear the music , and kept playing with the buttons increasing decreasing the volume getting it tangled into the handles as I am trying my hardest to keep up with the conveyor belt . Eventually ,I realise that the connection is loose not that I am going deaf ! I come home with a smile ,and cannot wait to get back to the gym now I know how it works .

Inspiration comes from everywhere and you need to be inspired to be creative in anything .I am learning so I am excited .However with the challenge I have set myself I know I need to be super organised .I know I need to get better with my time if I am to achieve what I want .Even with boys in school , and after going to the gym  and a quick shower ,  I come home prepare tea in advance. Only then do I allow myself to sit and begin the process of creating my blog . Prior to starting this I had it set in my mind that I would spend 1 hour for this and then the rest of the time which is 3 hours now would be spent on my actual book .

Well all I can say is the best laid plans I spent 2 1/2 hours composing the blog and when all was said and done I only managed around 30mins for rereading my serious work and jotting down some background research .So my discovery for today is that the blog has to be written at night when the day is done and my writing has taken off this is  where I want to focus my attention or I will never get into it .

I will try not to be a  recluse , I will still be going out with the kids early in the morning and then off to the gym but  then my day of writing will start .  Or will it ?

"Love your life .Believe in your own power ,your own potential .Always believe in miracles"
Vickie m . Worsham
Until tommorrow  Jennie

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