Thursday, October 14, 2010

Dont give up

This week has been a bit of a big dipper of weeks .The first weeks of anything new is exciting, challenging you know that honeymoon feeling .As things settle, and take shape it becomes harder to maintain the original feeling of euphoria.You begin to doubt how far you can go, whether you will ever finish ,will it be good enough for anyone other than yourself .Self doubt creeps in .

As the chapters before have been relatively easy to create so now the story gets more challenging to sustain .Trying to bring in the sub plot ,and maintain the original sense of romance ,and develop the story further, is really scary .Then trying to make the characters seem real ,and come alive before your eye's is a major concern .I find myself dreaming of how they look, how they sound ,what kind of sense humour they  would have , their quirks, their sense of fashion, music, oh my God what have I done, it goes on  .It is truly endless .Creating someone that seems authentic, real, someone people will  be drawn to and interested in ,one can only try .

I found myself avoiding the next couple of chapters not sure of how I could put the message I wanted across so instead I went back ,and rewrote the first chapter which was difficult anyway ,and in doing so found I could then carry on ,and just wrote .I read somewhere I think it was in the, "Idiots guide to writing a novel", that it is important  to write something , anything , it can be amended, improved upon , altered , rewritten but if there is nothing on the paper, there is nothing to change or redo .This is so true .

Writing has become an  addiction ,which once you have that craving ,you just want to spend all the time feeding it .This week has been so productive I am so pleased with how organised I can be when necessary .I need to work on feeling less guilty about not doing other things like being more social or volunteering in the school .However ,this is my  job now, my career that is how serious I am about this .I am not published ,and so  will not call myself a writer until I have something that I can tuck under my belt namely a book, but I feel I am on my way .,

I leave you with this thought as I need to finish the chapter I am on ,
"Never be afraid or hesitant to step off the accepted path ,and head in your own direction if your heart tells you that it's the right way for you ."
Edmund O'Neill .
This is what I have to do right now, and go wherever it takes me and I just love it !!!!

Bye for now Jen xx

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