Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Ready to give up!



I've read posts about giving up and have thought, never. I will never give up! Today, I'm ready to throw in the towel, and surrender. I feel all the doubters out there, that smirked when I said I'm going to get my story published, have been right all along, and that I should stop kidding myself now. 

Writing for four years has been all consuming, and there have been people who have become totally fed-up with listening to me go on about the story and my writing. I've tried to continue pushing myself to believe that no matter what, I will finish what I started and then pursue publication.

         However, I never imagined how depressing I would find this process of submitting and waiting!!!!
 
        I have been paralyzed waiting for news. I felt sick pressing the send button to query agents/publishers and since have been glued to the computer waiting for that elusive e-mail.

        I cannot live like this!
     
        I've sent my husband out for chocolate, and wine. I have tried focusing on another story, but I'm now obsessed with the fact I'm no good. That the story is no good, and I have no idea how to deal with this?
At the end of the day it makes me question if I really can write at all?

      Yesterday, I spent the day cleaning, food shopping, and catching up with paper-work. I just needed to get away from writing. Today, again, I'm going out to meet up with friends, and I doubt I will get any writing done.

      I feel lost, sad, tearful. I feel depressed, exhausted, and question whether any of this is worth it!


     Any advice on how to deal with playing the waiting game, and facing rejection, appreciated.

P.S
  I have to point out, that  I know this is part of the process of writing and seeking publication. I wasn't prepared for this waiting and nail biting stage. Today, I am re-invigorated and have a strategy or rather several. I was awake early and started exercising, which really helps those endorphin's. I'm re-working my biography, reading over my new story and plotting. Sharing this post has helped because I've had support from my writer friends and all have offered good advice. Just knowing that they are there has helped. I'm blessed. Thank you all. Not giving up----yet!!!! xxx

2 comments:

  1. Write something in the meantime. It's gives you something else to worry about, sure, but it also gives you something else to think about. And a writer should always be thinking.

    ReplyDelete